Yeah, I'd kill for attention. I'd kill just to get your eyes on me for more second more. I'll kill for you. No, seriously. Just give me a name and I'd do it. I wouldn't hesitate. I'm yours now and forever and I'll do whatever if fucking takes to prove it. I'll kill for you. I'll kill anyone.
I'll hold them close as they bleed. I'll smile. What difference would it make? Come a little closer, come whisper in my ear. Come tell me what it is you need.
Because the others aren't like me, are they? No, you need the hint of danger, that thrill edge of promise and pain. You like that I'm a little unpredictable even as I meet your every demand. You enjoy the way your other lovers turn up dead and wounded, your little alleyway shadow stalking their every breath. You like that I have drawers of knives with the blades kept sharp. You don't ask about the bones at the bottom of my closet. You don't need to. We pick our teeth clean with sharp objects and smile faithlessly in the dark.
You need it, on some level. It's the vicious thrill, the punitive measure. You hate her dress. How dare she show you up? It'll be on your bed tonight, bloodstained and empty. I'm skilled. The droplet pattern is part of the art, part of the game. It's an enhancement, decorative. You'll smile when you wear it, smile when you run your hands down it and imagine mine linking with yours as you do. You'll dance in it, dance freely and wildly. You'll never have to struggle again. I'll make sure of that.
I'll fucking kill for you. I'll fucking kill anyone just to keep your eyes on me. It's nonverbal. You don't need to order me around. You don't even need to talk to me. Look at the waitress and she can be next. I'll do it right now, making my excuses, getting lost on the way to the bathroom, dragging her out back by the hair. Leave her in the alleyway, hair haloed around her broken little skull. Oh, that gorgeous hair. That beautiful hair of yours. Would that I could run my fingers through it, caress your scalp. I'll do anything for the chance.
I'll do anything for you.
Bounce from bed to bed. It doesn't matter. Smile in the crowd. Wink at your friends. I'm your pet little ghost and I'm staying in the shadows. You can introduce me the way you introduce silence. I'm an empty space in the corner of their eyes. I'm the thing they pointedly ignore. I'm your pet little monster and you love me for it. You love me for it. It's so obvious. It's why you whisper my name or something like it in dark places. It's why you glance around frantically when you're alone as though your eyes could rest upon me so easily. As though I would betray my silence.
You'll see me in your dreams. You'll see me at night in the dark shadow over your bed, hand on your lips. I'll kiss your neck with my lips and then my knife. I'd never hurt you. You know that. I'm your little toy. I'm your pet monster. I'm your abomination and your dirty little secret. Just name something and I'll do it. I'll cut my eyes from my skull and burn down my house if you command. I'll kneel before you and kiss your feet. I'll cut you from the world, isolating you corpse by corpse until you have nothing left but me, but the thrill of power.
What power it would be? How awe inspiring would that be, to know that you just have to think it and all will die before us? I'll drag them in and make them bow. You can kiss their pretty little foreheads as I slice their throats. You can cradle them as they bleed out. You can smile at me as I laugh. We can hold hands and skip through corpse fields. We can laugh and we can smile. You want that, right? Promise me you want that.
Imagine giving it up. Imagine needing something and knowing you'll have to earn it yourself instead of me carving it from society for you. Whatever it is, I'll do it. Imagine trying to twist away from me as I hold you, pushing against my chest. Imagine begging me to stop. You could never. You wouldn't put me through that, right? You wouldn't do that to me because you love me. Why would you ask me to do these things if you didn't love me? You wouldn't, right?
You may think I'm a monster, but you used me. I'm just a knife. It's your hand on me, your mind making me tick. Everything I do, I do it for you.
It's okay. We love each other. I'll make all your dreams come true. Just tell me what to do.
I love you. Tell me what to do or I'll kill you too.
wow sometimes i write things and then think "damn i should be in therapy"
i don't think i have intimacy issues???