It was the end of times, for Good King Balios walked and drove gods and monsters before him. The difference between the gods and those who merely claimed the title was negligible and both were forced to kneel before his power. The gods were proud and did not take his assault quietly. But Good King Balios was driven by that most terrible thing, an oath and the will to carry it out. Where he was met with riddles, he provided answers wise. Where he was met with contests of skill, he outperformed anyone. Where he was met with violence, he returned in tenfold. For he was unstoppable to any immortal, to any being whose power matched his own.
In one hand, he clutched a tree mightier than any ever grown, for the twig had molded to his hand. It struck with the force of meteor and its first blow would transform flesh to shining jade and its second would reduce jade to dust lost in the wind. The wind and waves trembled and split at its passing, for they feared it too. In his other hand, he clutched the memory of a dagger taken from a slain god, a tool of death which he merely used to prune the branches of his tree. Where he walked, roads followed. Where he breathed, nations fell. Where he spoke, all listened. He was followed by 92 bandits who could not be defeated in single combat and uncountable daughters furious he had not shared his power.
And one by one he challenged each of the gods, each being whose might could shape nation. In turn he commanded them to kneel or be destroyed. And those who knelt joined his hoard, followed his path, aided him in his terrible journey. And those who chose destruction were cast to the world as fragments of a whole, slain in but two strikes. When his entourage was complete and every one of the gods had bowed to him, he would forge a path into the stars and they would depart forever from the mortal realm. In this way, the gods would come to leave the world. In this way, humanity would be left space to grow.
But before the task could be done, he would have to perform his greatest feat yet. He would have to face Aza, first and greatest of wizards. He would have to convince her to follow him and abandon the world, but this was known to be impossible for the world was the source of Aza's power. Her might was because she sought not to tame but to understand and her wisdom was legendary. But she was also the mightiest of the gods, for she was but a human and accustomed to tricks and sorcery. The other gods trembled at the thought of her because she cowed all of them during her travels.
But King Balios was not afraid. And when every deity but Aza had been gathered, he took them to his palace and bade them wait for his return. And while they protested and begged to aid him in glorious battle, secretly they were glad for they did not think that even all of them combined could defeat Aza, first and greatest of wizards.
But the first challenge was to find Aza, for she had surely noticed the changes in the world, the way that battlefield fell empty without massive beings of metal and stone to lead the armies to ruin. Flesh once broken could only mend with time and the forest retook the broken places of the world, throwing off the shackles of war. And Aza was a master of form, the first master of form. She was known to spend years as the lizards in the desert, as the worms in the soil, as the clouds in the sky.
But Aza was mostly found on roads, and so King Balios found himself walking the road. Aza found herself drawn to him because was curious about the man who claimed to change her. And so, she came to test the king.
The second time they met, she appeared as herself. And King Balios did not recognize her, for she had taken the memory of their first meeting from him as she had pulled it from the very weave of history, unmaking it entirely. She had tangled it up like yarn and swallowed it whole for safekeeping. But it was time now and so she pulled it from deep in her stomach and returned it to him then. And King Balios recalled how he had met her on the road before returning home. He remembered that they had riddled and he had lost. He remembered that she taught him the way of seeing the truth of what something is. And he saw the truth of this meeting, which was that Aza was challenging him to a game.
And the next time she approached, she did so in the form of a massive demon queen whose horns cut the sky open and whose skin burned with the rage of untold aeons. "Little man," said the demon queen, "I have heard tales of your quest. Tell me what it is you desire and I shall grant it."
But Balios was no fool. "I seek to drive the gods from the earth and leave the mortals to build their own road. But I would hesitate to take your aid, for what cost would you ask of me, oh queen?
The demon queen was pleased that he had the foresight to ask. "For the removal of all the gods, I would demand your own flesh, your own wisdom, and your own years."
And King Balios laughed because surely this was a trick. He said unto the demon queen, "But I have already given those things for my quest and lo, it already nears its completion. If that is the price you offer for victory, then I say your aid is worthless."
And the demon quest was furious because this was true and she had nothing to offer him but much to take. Nothing left to say, she returned to hell and King Balios knew he had defeated Aza once. But games were traditionally played over three rounds and so he had to keep walking the road until he met her twice more.
The next time they met, Aza dressed as a travelling carnival, complete with tents and performers. King Balios entered her and laughed for her tricks were many and surely impossible. He wandered among the sights for some time before he found himself in a fortune tellers tent.
"Why," said the fortune teller, "if it isn't the Good King Balios! For the small fee of a coin, I shall grant you three questions, one for the future, one for the present, and one for the past. Spend them wisely, love."
King Balios gave her the coin because it was part of the ritual.
"Ask of the future," she crowed.
"Oh fortune teller," said King Balios, "Tell me of the next game Aza shall set me." And this was a cunning question because it would aid him in the future."
But the fortune teller was cunning too and knew the ways of the future. "Why," she said, "you will have no other game with Aza. And so I cannot tell you of it for it shall not occur."
And the king took this to mean that he wins this round, for two out three is victory in a game of threes.
And the fortune teller chuckled because Aza had a plan that was known to her.
"Ask of the present," she crowed next.
"Oh fortune teller," said King Balios, "Tell me of the truth of yourself." But this was a foolish question because Aza's mastery of forms ran deep and she did not merely dress herself in illusion but became that which she adopted.
"I am but a humble fortune teller," she replied. "I have no past but the circus and I have no future but the circus. My life is the interior of this tent and riddles traded with kings. I am exactly as I appear to be and that is the truth of who I am.
And King Balios grumbled for his question had been wasted.
"Ask of the past," she crowed finally.
"Oh fortune teller," said King Balios, "Tell me of how the world began." And this was cunning question, for even one as wise as Aza knew not the answer.
"I know not," said the fortune teller.
"Then," said the king, "you must grant me an additional question about the future." And this too was cunning, for knowledge of the past is insignificant compared to that of the future.
"Then ask of the future," she replied.
"Oh fortune teller," said King Balios, "Tell me of your death." And this was a cunning question, for she obligated to answer and in the shape of a fortune teller, her answer would be true.
She clutched her eyes and screamed and the teeth fell from her mouth. For this was not an easy future. "I shall take an apprentice and worlds will shake at his passing. He shall devour the stars and tame the dark things. He shall master form, time, and wisdom and he shall equal my power in every way. And in the darkness of the eternal night when I am old and content, he shall strike me down!" And she screamed lamentation because she knew it was true. And in this way, King Balios knew he had defeated Aza once more.
And so he left to walk the road once more. Finally, he found Aza clad in her own flesh, as human as he was. And Aza was surely still shaken by the vision of her own death, but she did not show it.
"What purpose do these games serve?" He asked.
She replied, "I sought to test you, great king. I sought to see your purpose true. And I see that it is true and it is correct. You have suffered greatly and only to aid others. I respect you."
"So then," said the king, "you shall come with us? Swear fealty to me?"
"No," said Aza, first and greatest of wizards.
"Why, wizard?"
"Your quest has cost you your separation and your morality. You are no better now than those you seek to subjugate. But I agree with you in spirit and so I will not run riot over the world as the others do. I will study and I will respect it and you will leave me here to protect it."
This was unacceptable to the king. "Why!" he thundered, "what then would stop you from ruling as a god-queen? Without us to hold you back, your power would only escalate until you could pluck the stars we ride from the skies themselves and swallow us whole." And in truth, maybe it was jealousy for he had sacrificed his place in the world to carry out his quest.
Aza shook her small head. "That existence holds no interest to me and so I shall not accept it. I apologize king, but I shall not go with you. And you should be glad, for your task is now complete and you have reason no longer to walk the roads."
And the king was saddened because he would miss the roads, despite the aches in his feet. He would miss the smell of trees and the sight of the oceans and the joy of smiling humans. And he was maybe a little proud, for he had brought every other god to kneel. "Aza," he said darkly, "you may be the greatest of us. But there are far too many of us for even you to fight. And we are blessed with a strength of purpose you lack. I shall return and I shall bring with me an army who could sunder the continents open. And then you will kneel or you will perish."
The two faced each other for a very long moment. "Rally your army then, Great King," said Aza. "If you think such is wise."
And it was not wise, for violence is never wise. But the king did so anyway, his thousands of gods followed his footsteps as he marched along the road to where he had last seen Aza.
But Aza was there no longer, for she had not lied when she said there would be no other game. Aza had walked away. She followed roads until there were roads no more and then when the roads stopped, she kept walking. She walked through mountain and under ocean. She walked until the sky met the land and the world gave way the infinite emptiness and then she walked through stars and silence. She walked until she had left that world entirely and found another.
And the Good King Balios searched for many years with his followers. But they scoured the whole planet and found Aza not. They realized what she had done and realized they could not follow, for Balios could only lead them where roads already went. And so, defeated, they built a road to the stars and left the world to guide from afar, swearing that were Aza to ever return, the very world would reject her and she would be cursed to live a horrible and lonely existence.
Such is how the gods were driven from the world. Such is how Good King Balios retired, never to walk the roads again. Such is how peace is made, with the flesh and age of good people. Such is wisdom. Such is the wrath of King Balios.
This is what happens to queers when they reread Kill 6 Billion Demons