Her voice was the only noise in the room. "Do you want to have sex again?"
I considered. It was a tough call, really. I could go either way.
She spread her arms a little, smiling enticingly. "Don't deny it. You want this."
I pursed my lips, considering. The gentle curves of her body did certainly stoke a certain desire in me. And yet. "I don't know," I said. "I have to be ready in uh..." I made a show of checking my watch. "11 minutes."
She grabbed my wrist, pulling it up to her mouth, her salivating lips enveloping my watch entirely. "What about now?" she whispered around it, voice muffled.
I leaned forwards to kiss her forehead. My hands slipped down her sides, finding her wrists. She leaned into me for just a second until the click of the handcuffs gave me away.
"Kinky," she purred, rolling over so her bound hands were pinned beneath her.
I stood and admired my handiwork. "And now, I must be off."
She glared at me. "What, aren't you going to ravish me?"
"Alas," I said. "Would that there was time, my sweet little strumpet. But I have a bomb to find, a supervillain to catch, and a destiny to date."
She rolled her eyes. "You're insufferable."
I pulled my pants up and began working the belt buckle shut. "I think I'm very sufferable. Doubly so when I'm inside you."
"Oh my god," she moaned. "I'm going to die with an idiot."
"Nonsense!" I laughed. "We're not going to die. Why, by my watch, I still have..." I trailed off, glancing at my wrist. My watch was no longer there. I glanced at her, confused.
She stuck her tongue out, revealing the head of my watch.
"Clever girl," I said. "What, did you bite through the leather?"
Her mouth was too busy to reply. Dextrously, she spun the watch into the air and began working the buttons with her tongue. Oh, the things she could do with that tongue. I felt my loins begin to stir at the thought. I watched eagerly as she lashed every side of it, flicking the watch up and down with carefully movements of her head. Her devotion to it was equally sexual and religious. Unconsciously, I began rubbing myself through my pants.
Finally, she flicked her head up, tossing the watch straight above her. Blades popped out of the sides. I didn't even know it could do that! But before I could really appreciate it, she flung herself forwards, sticking her arms into the path of the blade, which slice through the handcuffs like a fork through molten eggs.
Before I could congratulate her skills, she'd spun into a cartwheel, her foot colliding with the centre of my chest. I flew backwards, crashing through the wooden closet door, landing in a pile of dresses. She stood over me, aiming a gun at my face.
"Wow!" I said. "That was hot. You should do that again."
She groaned. "That wasn't foreplay."
"Are you sure? Because, uh, it certainly did it for me."
"No. We're going to sit here until the bomb goes off."
"Okay," I said slowly. "But if we're going to sit here anyway, we might as well be fucking, right?"
"You're insufferable."
I laughed. "We already did that bit. I think you're on the wrong page of the script."
She planted a dainty foot on my chest, her cracked cherry nail polish filling my eyes. "I think you're on the wrong foot."
"Under," I replied. "I'm under the wrong foot. Easy mistake to make though, I don't really blame you."
She growled, leaning down until the tips of her hair tickled my nose. "I thought you were supposed to be the best."
I laughed. "Of course I am! You said you yourself not even half an hour ago."
For a moment, we both remembered all the things we'd said in the throes of passion. "Fine," she said. "You are unexpectedly good at licking things."
I cleared my throat pointedly. "Unexpectedly the best at licking things."
"God, I don't even know where to start with you."
I raised an eyebrow. "You didn't have any problems starting from the top."
She sighed. "Do you even care about the bomb? I feel like you're not trying anymore."
"Oh no," I replied. "I was bluffing. I'm only here to distract you. The bomb is someone else's department."
She paused. "Wait."
I ran my eyes along that shapely leg, up to where delicate fingers held a heavy gun. "Don't really see what choice I have."
"But I was sent to distract you!"
"No, no," I replied. "Our intelligence on this one is top notch. I was sent to distract you."
"No," she insisted. "You're their best guy. My job was to distract you so someone else could get the bomb!"
I laughed. "Don't be silly. Your boss is a cheapskate. Could only hire one of you."
"Wait," she said again.
I sighed. "We just went over this."
She was scrabbling, checking her pockets for something.
"What's the matter?" I asked.
"I can't find the watch."
"Oh yeah," I said. "How'd you do that trick with the blades? I thought it just told the time."
"Not important!" She dropped the gun and began searching the floor around her.
I sighed and relaxed further back into the pile of dresses. They were silky and soft.
"What time does the bomb go off?"
I laughed. "What do you mean?"
She grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "Were you here to disarm or to set the bomb?"
I screwed my face up in confusion. "Neither."
"But that means..." She trailed off.
"That you got tricked?"
She let out the most epic growl, her hair flying as she shook her head. "You fucking idiot, what time does the-"
There was a very loud explosion.
"Oh," she said.
"Oh," I said as well.
"Well," she said.
"Well," I said as well.
"I guess I'm fired," she said.
"Yeah, me too," I said. "I was totally bluffing."
She stared down at me. "Screw it. Wanna fuck?"
I replied by pulling down my pants.